sugarcane ;; April 2, 2009

So grow tall sugarcane
Eat that soil, drink the rain
But know they’ll chase you if you play their little games
So run, run fast sugarcane
Yeah you better run, run fast sugarcane

Sugarcane // Missy Higgins

 

Wow, has it been a long time since I posted or what? I believe the last time I posted was sometime in late January… a lot and nothing has changed, all at the same time.  I am now a year older and braces-free… We also had a week off for spring, during which both of the aforementioned events occurred, and I had a small party with a few close friends. It was fun… We ate my favorite food, chinese!

 

I have also become closer with my BBBS little sister, my Austrian friend, and a few of my other friends. I am continuing to learn Spanish, and am working on my collage to convince my parents about studying abroad in Spain. It is rather exciting and tedious at the same time… Either way, I am trying my best to get them to see how important this is to me, and what an incredible and beneficial experience it would be.

 

Tonight we had a Key Club meeting, and took our year-book picture… I then went home and put o my purple dress and coordinating jewelry for the choir concert later tonight… younger choirs from the district will be performing, as well as others at my high school. The choir director chose us, as well as the vocal jazz ensembles, specifically to perform, so that’s an honor, considering we are a freshman choir. At first, I didn’t really want to go, as I was tired and stressed, but now that I am dressed and more relaxed I am looking forward to getting on stage and showing off our sound.

 

I’m really just chilling out right now… listening to my iTunes and typing this… not as much to say as I thought there would be. I’m in the midst of composing a story right now, I would publish it but I don’t want anyone to steal it. All I’ll say is that I am excited about it, and it is going very well. I have about six chapters finished at the moment, and plan on actually following through with it, rather than abandoning it like most others of my stories.

 

I am pretty bored right now… Hungry and wondering if I should go downstairs and get some dinner. Apparently I have nothing at all interesting to say at the moment… though are 40 days left of school, give or take a few… it went rather fast — it stills feels like I have so much more to learn, and that I am still distant from all my teachers but Señora. Ah well, I’ve made some good friends this year that far outweigh the lost ones, and learned a lot. Plus, there’s another three years yet to go.

 

Okay, seeya! Who knows when I’ll be back? Could be tonight, could be three months from now. Bye bye!

that girl ;; January 22, 2009

Before I tell her that I love her 
That I want her 
That my mind, soul and body needs her 
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to 
That I need to do all that I have to 
To be in her love 

 

“That Girl” by Stevie Wonder

 

—

 

Love that song — it’s a great beat, has amazing vocals — dur, it’s Stevie! — and is just so romantic I think. Nowadays, who really writes such a sexy song about a man feeling true passion for a woman? -swoons- Not often, let me tell you. The songs that male musicians try to kick out these days are just sad, sad, SAD wannabes.

 

Sorry guys, but ya gotta kick it up a notch… At least for my love. Not too sure about my female counterparts, bat as for myself… Well, it doesn’t take a lot to please me — I don’t want or need a ten-thousand dollar rock on my finger, or to be lavished with gifts every night and day.

 

All I — and I suspect many other women — really want is someone to listen, to care, and to really, truly be loved, from the bottom of a man’s heart. Along with the occasional — or often, what have you — macking session xD That may be just me, however.

 

Anyway… On to bigger and probably not any better things. Like, my quote of the day! 

 

YAAAAAY!!!! I can hear all of you rejoicing in mass amounts… Bwaha. Yes, I’m “only fooling myself”, as in the wise words of Kate Voegele — who I happen to be listening to at the moment…

 

So, with further ado, here it is:

 

—

 

“If you’re going through hell… Keep going.”

 

—

 

Winston Churchill is da MAN! For quotes at least ^-^

 

Now this one above has been drawn from memory, as it is one of my favorites. Sure, it speaks of that age-old message, “keep on persevering even when times get hard” blah blah blah… But it’s something even more, I think.

 

In a lot of quotes, they seem to say, “oh, well things will get better eventually… just wait it out!” -big fake patronizing smile- But in this one, Churchill doesn’t even bother acting as if things will just fix themselves if you sit tight and act like an upturned duck.

 

He takes it one step further, saying that if you’re laboring through some pretty shitty times… Then just keep on going — because, ultimately… It is all we can do. And if you’re an optimist (like moi), then just keep moving towards the light. If you’re a cynic… well, keep on being an ass and just trudging through life as though you’re struggling in quicksand.

 

No matter how you may view existence as a whole… You just have to keep on going. I hate to say this, but people who take their own lives are cowards. There is no excuse for it… Obviously, there are those who are mentally ill — and I suppose they’re the bulk of the suicidal loons — but people who use death as an escape hatch are just plain mousy. It’s sad… So, so sad, but I can’t even fathom how low and blue one would have to feel to reach — or plummet — to that level.

 

And, there you have it, people… My little philosophy moment for the day ^-^

 

Not much has been happening lately… We had another intersession day today — yuck! — and were basically doing nothing… A little cognitive skills here and there, along with the occasional lecture about our futures… But the high-point of the day was lunch.

 

Wanna know why? Because…

 

THERE WERE STARBURST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Mmm… And they were good too ^-^

 

Well, Idol starts in a few minutes, and then I’ll be watching the premiere of the new show Lie to Me … looks pretty kickass, so I’m stoked!

 

Out, y’all!

 

other side of the world ;; January 20, 2009

And the fire fades away 
Most of everyday 
Is full of tired excuses 
But it’s too hard to say 
I wish it were simple 
But we give up easily 
You’re close enough to see that 
You’re on the other side of the world to me…

 

“Other Side of the World” by KT Tunstall

 

—

 

¡Bienvenidos a mi página de la tela!

 

Absolutely love that song… It’s just beautiful, depicting in such an expressive fashion the trials of love losing its passion, and two people who once felt a fire in their hearts for one another, slowly growing further and further apart…

 

So there’s my little musical lesson for the day… Hum. De. Dum.

 

Anyhow, school was a drag today… Ack. We had intersession days, which are basically the time in which we decide which academy to go into — I’m thinking Arts & Communication or Human Services. I don’t know. I can’t decide between the two… They only gave us twenty minutes to jot down our decision! That could affect a year of our lives, and they expect us to just spin a dial and go, “Oop! There’s my choice!”

 

Grrr!

 

Maybe it’s just me… But I like to take time to think things over, you know? Why rush it? Sure, “live in the moment” and all that jazz, but… why make a decision so quickly that I don’t realize it was the wrong one until AFTER I choose it?

 

Did that make any sense?

 

Well, it did to me.

 

Tomorrow is my Nana’s birthday, so we’re going out to eat tonight at Bravo, at 5:30…

 

 

Yummy… Who doesn’t love Italian?

 

Um… Lala… I don’t have much to say today…  But I have nothing else to do until I have to get ready to leave, so I guess I’ll find a topic.

 

—

 

“Maybe coming clean is the ultimate selfish act. A way to absolve yourself by hurting someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”

 

—

 

The above quote was spoken by Cindy Chupack — in an episode of Sex & the City, believe it or not. I myself have not watched the show more than once, and stumbled upon it on a quote website, rather. I chose it, because: A.) I have nothing else to speak of, and B.) It is thought-provoking, don’t you think?

 

All the times I’ve sat around and pondered the most miniscule of things, and as much as I think of myself as a philosopher of sorts… I’ve never actually thought of it that way. In light of my immense dorkiness, it thrills me to have something new to mull over, to toss back and forth, to savor… Kind of like how a little kid feels, when receiving a new shiny toy or lollipop.

 

In this quote, I don’t think that Miss Chupack is necessarily saying that honesty is a bad thing, and shouldn’t be practiced… But rather, that it sometimes does more harm than good, at least for the person one is coming clean to. It’s like saying, “Sorry to burst your bubble, but…” etc, etc. I never quite understood that sentiment anyway… It only brings forth a sense of dread to the listener, even before the dreadful part itself has been voiced.

 

But anyway… I was very intrigued by that particular quote, and just thought I’d share it with you all Yup yup.

 

Ooh! American Idol is on tonight… More auditions, hahaha. Funny. Probably won’t be home in time to watch it live, so I’ll just DVR it.

 

Right now, I think I’ll go watch Secret Life of the American Teenager. I only watched House and Kyle XY last night, so… Gotta catch up ^-^

only four years ;; January 20, 2009

They tore my high school to the ground 
Put a new wing in the east lot 
On my old parking spot 
It stands reminding me of how 
I wish that i could travel back in time 
Change my state of mind 

 

So if you’re still in your teens listen to me… 

 

It’s hard to see beyond these walls 
Of who and who not to be 
Socially 
Maybe you’re in you’re out 
But in the end when all your hats are in the air 
Nobody’s gonna care 

 

So fair the weight 
Freshmen hold on 
It’s only four years long 
Then it’s gone 
And the queen of the nerds and the king of the prom get a job 
Look at them now 
She’s living her dreams while he sleeps with his crown 
So be cool, be hot, be weird 
It’s just four years 

 

Next time you’re walking through your school 
Take at who’s surrounding you 
Or hounding you 
Cause it’s all just castles in the sand 
When your tassel’s on the left side of your head 
You’re never going back 

 

So hope 
It’s only four years long 
Then it’s gone 
And the king of the nerds and the queen of the prom get a job 
What did you know? 
He’s a CEO and she answers his phone 
So be cool, be hot, be weird 
It’s just four years 

 

And as for your grades, I know they’re important 
Everyone wants to be a wiz 
‘Cause all of it goes on permanent transcripts 
I just don’t know where mine is 

 

 

 

So fair the weight…

 

Freshmen hold on, ’cause every homecoming court moves on 

It’s only four years long 
Then it’s gone 
And the queen of the nerds and the king of the prom get a job 
Look at them now 
She’s living her dreams while he sleeps with his crown 

 

So be cool, be hot, be weird, oh 
So be hot, be wild, you’re here, oh 
Be cool, be hot, be weird 
It’s just four years…

 

—

 

“Four Years”

Jon McLaughlin

 

—

 

This song is just so inspirational to me, and I’m guessing all high schoolers and teens out there… I really love it.

when did your heart go missing ;; January 19, 2009

I’m waiting, waiting for nothing
You’re leaving, leaving me hanging
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing, yeah?

“When Did Your Heart Go Missing?”

Rooney

—

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted… Not because I’ve been exceptionally busy, but more because I just haven’t gotten around to it. Not much has happened, though I suppose I could list a few highlights here and there:

+ I had my ears pierced in December.

+ We went on our trip to SC, and it was gorgeous there.

+ Hung out with friends a lot — saw some movies, did some sledding… that sort of thing.

+ Got in for my BBBS interview — I think it went pretty well, but we’ll see.

So, nothing too eventful… Just a few little things that were nice. Right now, today is the last day of our four-day weekend… It was nice, did some shopping and hung out with friends. Today, I watched The Dark Knight — Christian Bale is unbelievably sexy, and Heath Ledger (R.I.P.) is flawless in his portrayal of The Joker. I had boughten the DVD from Borders the day before… It was very reasonably priced.

Also, we went to Bob Evans to eat… Yummy. My parents did want to go originally, but they were glad they had listened to me once we got there and ate. I amiably suggested, “Maybe you two should not listen to yourselves more often…” xD

We also talked about my studying abroad… They said they wouldn’t even consider for sophomore year, and we’d talk about it for junior year. I told them that I wanted to go to a spanish-speaking country… Like Spain, or somewhere in South America. But the food came at that moment, so for now the subject has been dropped… But rest assured, I will bring it up again. Soon. Mwahaa!

Hm… Now I am bored. I’ll either read — “Deja Dead” by Kathy Reichs… It’s a Tempe Brennan novel, one of the books that the hit TV series “Bones” is based off of — or try to convince my mum and dad to go to a movie. I’d like to go catch “Valkyrie” with Tom Cruise, or “Doubt”, Meryl Streep’s new flick. I dunno if they’re still at the box office though… Meh.

Okay, well, just thought I’d check in… I just got a yahoo! messenger account, so you can message me at rentrocks212 — if you like. I need friends on there, and I am very friendly, so… send me a message and add me to your buddy list!

i’m with you ;; December 24, 2008

‘Cause nothing’s going right
And everything’s a mess
And no one likes to be alone….

i’m so sick ;; December 19, 2008

I am damn sick and tired of people taking advantage of me — using me as an outlet for their f**king petty problems and then skipping on their merry f-ing way when I try to add a little bit to the conversation.

 

I can’t take this anymore. I want out of here… NOW. I can’t stand the people in my life… I can’t handle being abused, ignored, and pushed aside any longer…

I just want to get on a plane with a one-way ticket to the remotest island culture of the world. I hate the people at my school, I hate all their immaturity and pathetic need to constantly fit in… And I hate the incessant competition to be the center of attention that all the idiotic moronic pea-brains I deal with each and every day consist of having.

 

Make… it… STOP!!!!!!

 

I am so glad that our break starts after tomorrow and then we’ll be on vacation, on the beach where I can be ALONE!!!!

 

Dear sweet merciful mother, that cannot come soon enough!

mercy ;; December 13, 2008

Angel of Mercy
How did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of Mercy
How did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?
And I see you
I feel you…

Mercy // OneRepublic

 

Lovely tune, very pretty… 

So, it’s about 1 o’clock in the afternoon, and I just finished eating lunch. Pizza Bianca from Cessna’s — leftover, but still good. Mmm. Before that, my dad and I had been out running some errands for my mom.We went to Home Depot, BJ’s, blah blah blah… The fun part was at Burger King and Borders. I wanted to get a croissan’wich for breakfast, seeing as I had just gotten up when I was forced to do evil bidding, but of course by the time we got there it was lunchtime and they were no longer serving it. My face must’ve been something else, ’cause I was pissed lol.

Still, the chicken fries and regular fries, with lemonade, were good. My dad just got a chocolate shake. It was funny — even though we had a copy of the local paper at home, my dad still wasted fifty cents on another one to read while there. Our little secret ^_~ Haha. He read me the story some professor guy had written up: he said there were four types of shoppers — neurotic, compulsive, psychotic, and normal. It was laughable, really. Normally I like psychological stuff, and really buy into it, but that was just a load of major B.S., let me tell you now.

Then at Borders, my dad bought a half-dozen of the same stupid chipmunk christmas card because he was sick of searching for a pack of blank ones. It was so retarded — cost him $24 — but he still did it anyway. And I got a multi-colored pencil case, which is both purty and practical, I say — but he claimed my purchase was just as useless as his. Either way… we still bought the items!

I’ve devoted myself to a new quest: finding a Johnny Depp calender for 2009!! I looked on amazon, and it’s really expensive… I’d like to find a cheap one that I can still look at the date from and drool at hopelessly <3 I’m so far beyond hopeless, I swear it — all my friends know it too, boy.

I need to walk the dogs here soon… I need exercise anyway, hah. And I have to wrap my gifts, along with writing my spanish oral presentation. Ah, well… I’ll get it done eventually. Right now I think I’ll put my jeans back on, and then grab my iPod and go walking, before I get too lazy and skip it, therefore cheating myself out of $14 of allowance — not cool, man. I just wanted to check in real quick… Type a few things to get settled in again, and then head out. Probably will write again tonight after/before watching a movie and/or eating dinner… Three posts in one day? New record for me… Normally I go weeks without posting…!

Nos vemos! 

 

crazy people ;; December 13, 2008

Only crazy people
Fall in love with me
They come from all over
To be with me
Bank robbers and killers
Drunks and drug dealers
Only crazy people 
Fall in love with me…

Crazy People // The Wreckers

I love this song, for some strange reason. It’s really witty, and funny… At the end of it, both Jess and Michelle just burst out laughing, it’s adorable. I can picture Liz and I doing something like that, definitely… <3 Now it’s “You Don’t Know Me” by Michael Buble. 

Speaking of which, we had a really good time working on our project, actually. We smeared paste on each other and jammed to my iPod, which was amusing. We finished most of it, yay! The rest of it Liz will just finish on her own real quick, because we can’t get together this weekend again, what with business and all… As for me, I can stay up as late as I want tonight, and get up at noon, for all that I care.

Amen to that, brotha.

Anywho… I am now just kind of sitting here… Feeling a bit tired and a lot in pain — my ear and nose hurt… pimple and scab… ack! I hate dry, cracked skin in the wintertime… Only downside of the beautiful coldness and snow. Love that christmas is coming… and our vacation to Kiawah! The beach is incredible… I can’t wait to hear those crashing waves… Feel the tide lick at my toes… See the gorgeous pastel sunrise in the early morning… Smell the sea-salt… I am so ready for this, man! After my family gatherings, food, and presents, of course… Fun and inevitable, haha.

Coming up this weekend, I have to wrap my gifts for other people and stick them under the tree… And go over to my grandma’s after church to make gnocci’s for International Club dinner on Tuesday night… Which is the same night as our choir rehearsal! Luckily, there is time for both… I really don’t want to wear the same dress to our x-mas concert as I did to the fall one, tacky and unfestive… Blek. But my mom insists on being cheap… Love her to death, that is true, but ugh! Ah, well. C’est la vie, no?

Moving forward… I’m reading this book that I really enjoy… It’s called March by Geraldine Brooks, and it details the adventures and past of the girls in Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women’s father, Mr. March. It sounds cheesy, but as a result of vivid and sensory writing, the story practically leaps off the page… I can’t wait to curl up with that novel later tonight, before I surrender to sleep ^-^

Oh yes, and I forgot! I have to write my proyecto oral for spanish class… to be presented on Monday. It is supposed to detail ourselves descriptively and someone in our family… If you’re a male, you have to describe a female in your family, and vice versa. So, obviously, I have to describe a male… And I have no uncles or male cousins (except for Chris, who I know little to nothing about, other than that he still lives with his mom at nearly forty years of age) and no brothers… That leaves my dad! So I guess I’ll be getting up and talking about my dad and I. Interesting… Should be pretty easy. I could write it now, but there’s a chance I might fall asleep and drool all over it, and that would suck majorly… I’ll wait until tomorrow ; )

Gosh, my limbs hurt… Probably because of… Well, I don’t really know. It just is painful! But nothing I’m not used to, really.

So, I’d like to post something on here that I wrote recently, but I fear it might be stolen. I think I’ll probably delete the other post on here of my writing stories, seeing as someone could easily take it without crediting… And boy, how pissed would I be? MONUMENTALLY. There, it’s gone… Hopefully it’s not too late. Eh, it wasn’t anything really all that special anyway, though I do not want someone stealing it from me!!

What now, then? I’m not all too sure. My room is an absolute pig-sty… Perhaps I’ll clean it tomorrow while I’m overwhelmed with doing nothing? Highly doubt it. I really want a holiday cookie right now… Liz forgot to give me the ones we were going to eat, hah… Nerrrrg. -annoyance- Well, I would like to keep talking, but… I don’t really know what else to say.

Oh yeah! So I kind of agreed to go to the Winter Formal with Liz… And the theme is Hooville. Oy to the vey! Help me, please… Good thing it’s not till January, I could still possibly weasel my way out… Mowhahaha!

Well, I’m off to read and snuggle with my numerous colorful blankies… And to dream about my dream guy, Jasper… Everyone wants Edward, but I say, “Dude, give me Jasper, he’s sensitive, mysterious, and sexy!” Ohhhh, yes. -sigh of delight-

Peace out y’all… 

f.u.s.s. ;; December 12, 2008

I thought I knew who you were
I see now you were a lesson to learn
And all I am to you now is a bridge that’s been burned
Now I was the first to believe
I made you part of my musical dream
And your thanks to me, came without an apology, yeah…

Christina Aguilera // F.U.S.S. 

I don’t really know why I’m listening to this song… It’s depressing and very short, but I like it. Haha. So I wrote a post yesterday, called “let love in” — a song by the goo goo dolls — but I don’t think it posted right… Hopefully this one will, because I worked hard on the one yesterday, and it pissed me off! xD

Ah, well. Now I’m just sitting here at home, on the leather couch in the family room ,watching some reality TV show about Britney Spears on MTV… it’s on mute, and I’m playing my iTunes — Hero/Heroine by Boys Like Girls. Woohoo… It’s a good song, not the best, but still nice. The show is odd… I wonder it B’s faking it all for the camera or actually willing to broadcast herself sobbing pathetically all across the united states. Eh, whatever… Just something to look at, no sound involved.

Awww, her baby is cute though <3

Young Love by Gavin DeGraw just came on… cute and sweet, with pretty guitar acoustics in the background. Tonight I have to go over to Liz’s house and we’ll do our science project… Oh, boy. She’s a control freak at times, so I’ll have to go prepared with my suit and armor of … I dunno, whatever will make me able to voice my opinions without facing her wrath, lol. Other than that, I’m bored… I don’t really want to go to her place, or anywhere for that matter… But we have to have it done for Tuesday of next week. Sigh.

I kind of want to go see a movie… but obviously that’s not an option. I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry — haha — is now playing. Weird song, good voice and music. Now I’m just waiting for my mom to get home from work so she can drive me to Liz’s… Guess I should change out of my pajamas, huh? Eh… don’t want to! So comfy…

So, hopefully I’ll be able to get this published on my blog… Wow, there’s a lot of commercials in this show. I want — Kindly Unspoken by Kate Voegele — to go to sleep… My body is tired. It’s snow outside! Purtyyy. Blek, I hate when people excessively emphasize their words, like so: “punkkk.” it looks retarded — and it’s so preppy. not be stereotypical or anything, because I hate that, but it’s still true. Looks so dumb and intentional.

I so want to be a Valley Girl for Halloween next year! “Like, that would be totally rad! Oh my God, like, we should get pom-poms and everything!” It would be so amazingly funny <3 Nerdy but hilarious, I tell you! Iris by the goo goo dolls. Um, so… what now… I think Verena and I are going to start making a video show — how fun would that be?! Amazing. We could get a fanbase and everything! At first, it’ll just be fun… but eventually we’ll kick iCarly’s ass!! Yeah, baby!!

So… I guess I’ll say good-bye now… And possibly post again later tonight or tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Vaarwel… (Dutch for good-bye)